As of last Thursday I’ve lost 65 pounds in the past year and one week, according to the weight watchers scales. Every time I look in the mirror today I still see the 250+ pound person staring back at me.
I’m about the same weight as my friend, actually I’m taller by two inches and 2 pounds lighter but I don’t see her as fat. A little overweight but not by a massive amount. But for myself, probably because I’ve never liked seeing my physical self, I am seeing a person I’m ashamed of. To be fair, I see the same person I’ve always hated the reflection of.
This year I’m out to change that view of myself. I haven’t figured out how one goes about self perception changes but it’s something my therapist and I are going to start to tackle. I’m ashamed of being a schizophrenic, and all it costs me. A great job I loved, it changed a very important relationship, I’m worrying constantly abought money and what’s going to happen when my LTD ends July 29th. My LTD and all it’s Insurance perks is ending only because I have a mental health diagnosis. If I had an “organic disorder” which every psychiatrist would label schizophrenia as an “organic disorder”. The mental health parity act has a loop hole and doesn’t specifically mention the Ltd companies have to treat them the same as any other medical condition.
Stacie’s Life Now 